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California: The Two-State Solution

California, you have the least equal citizens in America. Each Californian has one-twenty millionth of a vote in the United States Senate.

With 12% of the nation’s population, California has exactly 2% of the votes in the senate. Same as Wyoming, which means that for every vote a California citizen gets in the senate, a Wyomingite gets seventy.

This injustice, embedded in the Constitution, is old news. The framers gave each state two senators, regardless of population. They did this for two reasons: to placate the small states, which seems silly now, and to get the slave states to ratify, which was the mother of all corrupt bargains.

But you don’t have to reach back into ancient history to see the damage to big, underrepresented states like California. That malign two senator policy just cost California a beating in the new tax law, reducing our state and local tax deductions to a ridiculously inadequate $10,000.

In no democratic system imaginable could you pass a law so contrary to the interests of so many people. It couldn’t happen. But it did, because our votes don’t count for much. Our 40 million citizens are horribly underrepresented. The states of Wyoming, Delaware, Alaska, Vermont and both Dakotas, whose combined populations don’t reach 6 million, have six times as many senators than we do, twelve to our two.

The new tax law is a textbook case of taxation without reasonable representation. That’s supposed to be a mortal sin in America. We were founded in violent opposition to taxation without representation. It’s the kind of thing Americans won’t stand for.

Yet we put up with it and more. Stripping tax deductions, undercutting sanctuary city policies, defying marijuana legalization, selling oil leases where no sane Californian would allow drilling, California gets the middle finger from the Federal government because our 40 million are virtually disenfranchised in the senate. They shaft us because they can.

There is no chance in hell that we’ll ever get rid of the two-votes-per-state rule in the senate, though hell is where it belongs. But that doesn’t mean we’re helpless, my fellow Californians.

We can begin to rectify this blatant injustice by recourse to The Two-State Solution. Split our oversized state in two, and just like that, you double our senators.

There has been talk of a breakup lately from a right wing fringe group calling itself New California. They’ve declared independence from us commies on the “coast ” They also claim California is an ungovernable tyranny, which is a spectacularly moronic oxymoron.

But there is far sounder reason for breaking California into two states: Senators.

Cut California in two, north and south. Make the dividing line between North California and South California somewhere near San Louis Obispo. You’d still have two very populous states. Maybe 25 million below the line and 15 million above. But with one big difference. We’d have four senators, not two.

Two Californias, North and South. If it’s good enough for the Dakotas and the secesh Carolinas, it’s good enough for us.

Some could object that I’m only suggesting this drastic change because I’m sure that the two new states will elect four Democratic senators. Guilty as charged, but that’s not the only reason, and electoral politics change. California used to be reliably Republican, it could be so again.

But the moral argument is deeper and incontrovertible; it is profoundly undemocratic for forty million voters to have two lousy senators. Getting four doesn’t rectify that injustice, but it helps.

The Two-State solution will be good for the national economy, too. Think of all the fifty one star flags we’ll have to manufacture. Not to mention maps and fridge magnets, tee shirts and souvenir shot glasses.

Ok, that stuff will be great for China. But it won’t cost Russia a dime, so the current president shouldn’t mind at all.

Everything good will double overnight. Two state birds, two state flags, two state mottoes, (I suggest “Creative Destruction!” and “Lights, Camera, Action!”) and two state capitals. South California will produce the content that entertains the world. North California will create the media to distribute it globally.

The Two State Solution is a win-win for us. It’s a lose-lose for the tiny troglodyte states that harass and oppress us with impunity. But there are far more of us than them. And in a democracy, the majority rules.

Do you want to make America great again? Fifty one is greater than fifty. Enact the Two-State Solution, now.